


Your Love Will Kill Me

by magicsophicorn



Category: Primeval
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2009-10-18
Updated: 2010-06-29
Packaged: 2018-02-24 17:58:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2590913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magicsophicorn/pseuds/magicsophicorn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Becker knows this is wrong, that he shouldn't lose control like this. But he does, every time. And one day soon there will be consequences.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Wild At Heart

No matter how many times they do this Becker still doesn't like it. He hates going through the anomalies. Something about it just feels… wrong.  
  
But personal feelings aside, he has a job to do, and he prides himself on being a professional, no matter the circumstances.  
  
“Right, Davis you stay here at the anomaly site with Cutter, Lyle and Ditzy you head towards the lake, Blade you see if there are any caves in that rock face and I’ll look in those trees. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you how important it is to find these civilians as quickly as possible, they’re going to very confused and almost certainly in a lot of danger. Meet back here in an hour. No unnecessary risks, understood?”  
  
Becker trusted his men with his life, he had absolute confidence in their abilities, each and every one of them, yet as he watched them walk away he couldn't shake the nagging feeling in the pit of his stomach that something was going to go wrong.  
  
He pushes the feeling down, reminding himself that he doesn't believe in fate or premonitions or anything like that, and sets off into the trees, focused on his surroundings, alert to any possible sign of danger or the civilians.   
  
He hears a noise to his right and ducks down low. It’s too quiet to be the larger predators from this era, but it doesn't hurt to be cautious. As he moves closer he thinks he can see a figure moving through the trees and he quickens his steps. When he arrives at a slight clearing in the trees he expects to find a lost and confused person, but instead he finds a familiar face smirking at him in between mouthfuls of apple.  
  
“Helen! What the hell are you doing here?” He hisses, torn between anger and fear.  
  
“What’s the matter Hilary, aren't you pleased to see me?” She smirks, standing up and leaning against a tree.  
  
“What do you want?” He says, walking towards her. He knows her too well to expect a straight answer.  
  
However that was exactly what he got, as she licked her lips and simply said, “you.”  
  
This was wrong, very wrong. And stupid. He had a job to do. But when she looks at him like that he finds it hard to remember that.  
  
He’s kissing her before he even knows what he’s doing, dimly aware that he shouldn't lose control like this.   
  
But he does, every time. And out here, in the wild, she’s more beautiful than she could ever be caged in an urban prison. Out here is where she belongs. Wild and free.  
  
He loses himself in her, letting her take the lead, like he always does. She’s the only one who makes him feel such reckless abandon. She undoes his trousers, pushing on to him, making him moan. He lifts her up, pressing her back against the tree. She wraps her legs around him, claiming him as hers. Their movements are wild, almost feral, both lost in each other and the wilderness.  
  
They come together, their cries mingling with the other sounds in the forest. But Becker hears another sound, closer, too close.  
  
He spins round, pulling out his gun from his still open trousers as he turns, ready to defend them both from whatever creature might be lurking in the undergrowth.  
  
But looking down the barrel of his gun it’s not the glittering daggers of a predator’s eyes he is aiming at, but rather the surprised face of Professor Nick Cutter.


	2. Decision Time

He should have seen this coming, but he didn't.  
  
The punch, now that he saw coming, but he let it happen anyway, he deserved it after all.  
  
He had misjudged Cutter, he had thought that his pride would be so badly bruised that he would keep quiet about it, instead he had shown himself to have a vindictive streak to rival his ex wife’s.   
  
Cutter had rushed straight back to the ARC and informed Lester of exactly what he had witnessed and now Becker was stuck in this holding cell, for ‘fraternising with the enemy’.   
  
He’d been here for two and a half days now, and had been ‘interrogated’ almost as many times, Lester’s smirking face telling him exactly how stupid he thought Becker was. Becker gave it two more days until Lester resorted to torture.  
  
Not that it would help, Becker didn't know anything about Helen’s plans anyway, the very thought that she might let him in on anything more than her body was laughable. When he had pointed out that he was ‘just shagging her’ Lester had left the room, muttering on his way out, “And look what happened to the last man who ‘just shagged her’”.  
  
Becker tried not to think about it. He had been trying not to think about it for months now.  
  
Becker had no idea what would happen now, as far as he could see they were just going to go round in circles with Lester pushing for information he didn't have. He might just be left to rot here for the rest of his life. That was what he feared most.  
  
His thoughts were interrupted by a loud bang somewhere off in the ARC, and the walls shaking slightly. He stood up and ran to the door of his cell, he could see through the little window that the guards were yelling and running in the other direction.  
  
Something big must be happening.  
  
The only feeling worse than being imprisoned was the feeling of helplessness. If they would just let him out, just trust him, he could help them. Just because he was in lo… just because he was sleeping with Helen it didn't mean his loyalties had changed, he still wanted to protect every member of that team, even bloody Cutter. If only they could just believe that.  
  
Becker did the only thing he could do, he listened.  
  
He heard another bang, more yelling, closer this time. Now gunshots, more yelling, more gunshots and… snarling. There were creatures. There were creatures in the ARC. How the fuck had they gotten in?  
  
Becker slammed his fists against the door in frustration.

The gunshots started again, right at the end of the corridor. He pressed his face against the little window in the door, desperately trying to see what was going on, but the window was too small, he couldn't see far enough.  
  
There was silence for a moment, before he heard the sound of footfalls heading towards him.  
  
“Let me out! Let me help, goddammit!” He yelled, slamming his fists against the door.  
  
The metal cover on the outside of the window was flipped up, blocking his view of the person in the corridor outside and Becker growled in frustration.  
  
But then he heard the unmistakable sound of the door being unlocked.  
  
Becker tensed and readied himself to fight should the need arise, but when the door opened he was greeted by a familiar smiling face.  
  
“Helen, what the bloody hell are you doing here?”  
  
“I’m rescuing you, of course. Shall we?” She made a grand gesture of stepping aside, letting Becker leave the cell.  
  
“The smilodons won’t keep your boys busy forever, we should get going,” Helen said, looking both ways down the corridor.  
  
“Smilodons? Helen what the fuck have you done?” Becker stared at her incredulously.  
  
“I did what I had to, you didn't think I was going to leave you here? After all it is partly my fault you’re in this mess.”  
  
“Helen how many people have died, will die, just to get me out?”  
  
“Does that really matter?”  
  
“Of course it fucking matters! These are my men!”  
  
“ _Were_  your men. You don’t owe them anything, not after they locked you up. Now, we really need to go.”  
  
Helen turned and started walking, stopping when she realised that Becker wasn't following.  
  
“Becker, don’t be like this. You've seen what they’re really like now. You know me, you know what I’m trying to do. Please, come with me.”  
  
“Helen…”  
  
“There’s no time Becker. You have to decide, me or them. Come with me now, or stay here and have them blame you for this too. What’s it going to be?”


	3. One Way Or Another

The silence between them stretched out longer than the road ahead of them. Becker watched the trees flash past the car window and tried not to think about what his… he wanted to call them friends, but they probably wouldn't consider him a friend anymore… what they were doing, and if they were okay. How much damage had the smilodons done? Had anyone died? Did they know Helen was behind it? Had they noticed he was gone yet? The questions span round and round in his head making him feel dizzy.   
  
He glanced at Helen, who was watching the road far more intently than necessary given the lack of traffic on the motorway.  
  
“Where are we going?” he asked, not really expecting an answer.  
  
“The Forest of Dean anomaly,” Helen replied without taking her eyes off the road, and not elaborating any further.  
  
“Why? At the ARC you said I knew what you were trying to do, but I don’t Helen, I've never known. I think I deserve an explanation now, after all this.”  
  
They still didn't look at each other.  
  
“It will all make sense when we get there Becker, I promise. I’ll show you everything. Just trust me.”  
  
Becker didn't reply, because really, what could he say? He could never completely trust Helen, but here he was in a car with her, on their way to god knows what. The worst part was that it was all entirely his fault; he had allowed Helen to get too close, even after he found out the truth. He had allowed this to happen, all of it.  
  
The car stopped and Becker realised they had arrived. Helen got out of the car without a word and Becker followed, trying to keep his head clear and focused, or at least as clear and focused as was possible around Helen.  
  
They marched straight towards the glittering anomaly, the guards long since having been recalled from the site due to inactivity, and Becker soon realised that Helen still had no intention of stopping to explain what was happening.  
  
“Helen!” he barked, halting in his tracks.  
  
She turned to face him, a brief look of annoyance flashing across her features at having their progress halted.  
  
“What the hell are we doing here? What is this? We've been over this before Helen, I’m not going gallivanting off into the past with you. We’re not fucking going there.”  
  
If that was what all this had all been about he would… God he didn't even know what he’d do.  
  
“I told you I would  _show_  you Becker. I can’t just tell you, it wouldn't mean anything, I have to show you this. But you can come right back. I couldn't, I wouldn't, force you to stay.”  
  
Becker could feel himself giving in to her. After all, he’d already come this far, he’d already fucked things up this much, he might as well find out what it had all been for.  
  
He didn't reply, just walked past her into the glittering light of the anomaly, taking a little bit of satisfaction from her annoyed sigh as he strode past her.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The first thing Becker noticed on arriving back in his own time was how different the air felt. Everyone always talked about pollution, but the air definitely felt lighter and cleaner here than it did in the future.  
  
The future.  
  
So that was the future. That’s what this had all been about. The world had been devastated and destroyed, and according to Helen, it was all Nick Cutter’s fault. He was responsible for introducing the future predators into the past all that time ago, and then… It didn't bear thinking about. He never would have believed Nick was capable of experimenting on them, even if his intentions were good and it was only an accident that he had inadvertently unleashed holy hell on the world. But the records at the ARC in the future… It all pointed to Nick. But he couldn't have… He wouldn't…  
  
Becker’s thoughts were interrupted by the all too familiar click of a gun being cocked and he looked up into the face that had been occupying his thoughts for the past hour or so.  
  
“You can’t trust her Becker, you know you can’t trust her,” Nick said, aiming past Becker straight at Helen – who had of course pulled out her knife.  
  
“And you expect me to trust you while you’re pointing a gun at her?” he replied, noting that for all his defending Nick Cutter in his mind, he still wasn't in the slightest bit surprised that the man had pulled a gun on them.  
  
“She’s dangerous, Becker. She was the one who set those smilodons loose in the ARC… But then I guess you knew that already since you’re here with her. What has she told you? Hmm? How can you trust her after everything she’s done?”  
  
Civilians with guns always made Becker nervous, and Nick was emotional which made the whole situation more dangerous. He tried to think carefully about the best thing to say to calm Nick down, but Nick didn't wait for an answer.  
  
“This ends now Helen,” Nick growled, “I won’t let you hurt anyone else.”  
  
“What are you going to do Nick? Shoot me?” Helen laughed, “You wouldn't shoot me. I’m your wife.”  
  
Trust Helen to push all Nick’s buttons and inflame the situation further.  
  
Nick stepped towards Helen and almost instinctively Becker drew his gun, aiming at Nick.  
  
Nick stopped and looked him square in the eye, lowering his gun slightly.  
  
“I’m sorry Becker, but it’s me or her. This has gone on far too long. After Stephen… And now… I’m going to shoot her, it’s the only way. You’ll have to shoot me first if you want to stop me.”  
  
“Becker, think about it,” Helen said quickly, “if you shoot him now that future will never happen, he won’t be able to cause any of it.”  
  
“What are you talking about? Cause what? The only one messing with the future is you, Helen,” Nick said, his hand gripping the gun tighter by his side.  
  
Nick turned back to Helen and raised his gun again. Becker would be damned if he was going to let Nick shoot Helen, if anyone was going to shoot her it would be him – that’s how she would want it too. But if Helen was right then it should be Nick he shot, not her. He needed more time to think about this. Or ideally he needed not to have to shoot either his colleague or his lover.  
  
But he didn't  _have_  time, and either way  _someone_  was getting shot, so Becker did what he had never done before in his entire life, and never would again; he closed his eyes before pulling the trigger.


End file.
